Morning museless

Oeditpus Rex · **Posted:** Tue Aug 17, 2004 9:40 pm

This ran on my former employer's A1 this morning. If you're going to mangle a metaphor that was bad to begin with, it's always a good idea to compound it by showing readers your knowledge of French.Dear Neighbor,If change is the spice of life, then welcome to our fragrant kitchen. Today marks a new era in our publishing history as we introduce the inaugural issue of what we hope youâ€™ll agree is Your Good Morning Newspaper, The Hollister Free Lance. In addition to fresher design and expanded local content, we also have changed our publishing days to Tuesday through Saturday. Your paper will be delivered by 5:30am weekdays and 7am each Saturday morning. Why? Our recent marketing survey revealed that readers would welcome a facelift and a renewed local news focus. So weâ€™ve spiced up the paper with a new daily Lifestyles section and weâ€™re prepared to pepper our readers with local sports results from Friday night action - all delivered at a time of day when you wanted to read a newspaper - in the morning. We listened to you - and to those of you that pointed out the good, the bad and the ugly - thank you.Redesigning the pages of your newspaper as well as our Web site was not a haphazard process. Months of planning, hundreds of â€œdo-oversâ€ and a dash of blood, sweat and tears make up what you hold in your hands today. Cosmetically, we hope youâ€™ll agree this new look to an old friend is more vibrant and reader friendly. More importantly, we believe youâ€™ll see a rejuvenated newspaper that is more relevant, compelling and committed to serving our community. After all, local news is the heart of our franchise. For 130 years, The Hollister Free Lance has chronicled the news and highlighted the people of our area. On behalf of the entire newspaper staff, we thank you for inviting us into your home each day and, as always, invite your comments, criticism and suggestions.Bon Appetite!

Jackie · **Posted:** Wed Aug 18, 2004 12:39 am

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by Oeditpus Rex:
Redesigning the pages of your newspaper as well as our Web site was not a haphazard process.<hr></blockquote>Well, thank God for that.

ADKbrown · **Posted:** Thu Aug 19, 2004 9:04 am

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by Oeditpus Rex:
This ran on my former employer's A1 this morning. If you're going to mangle a metaphor that was bad to begin with, it's always a good idea to compound it by showing readers your knowledge of French. ...Bon Appetite![/i]<hr></blockquote>*You mean ignorance of French. It should be bon appetit.*[ August 19, 2004: Message edited by: ADKbrown ]

SusanV · **Posted:** Thu Aug 19, 2004 12:24 pm

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by ADKbrown:
*You mean ignorance of French. It should be bon appetit.*[ August 19, 2004: Message edited by: ADKbrown ]<hr></blockquote>I believe that was his point. Hidden, perhaps, under the sarcasm?

Adroit · **Posted:** Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:25 pm

I'm just disappointed they didn't go all out and stretch the metaphor until it snapped. "Behold our new spiced paper, fresh from the oven of our newsroom, leavened with reader input, frosted with local sports scores..."

Oeditpus Rex · **Posted:** Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:53 pm

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by SusanV:
I believe that was his point. Hidden, perhaps, under the sarcasm?<hr></blockquote>You know much that is hidden, o Susan.

Cootaboot · **Posted:** Thu Aug 19, 2004 9:52 pm

It's the blood, sweat and tears that make it sound so tasty.

Jackie · **Posted:** Sun Aug 22, 2004 8:51 pm

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by Cootaboot:
It's the blood, sweat and tears that make it sound so tasty.<hr></blockquote>When I read that part I couldn't help but think, "And them's good eatin.'"

Le Petomane · **Posted:** Sun Aug 22, 2004 11:29 pm

If change is the spice of life ...If change is the spice of life, then what has variety become? These folks need a refresher course in cliches -- although they do a fine job with "the good, the bad and the ugly," if not such a good job with "blood, sweat and tears."Today marks a new era in our publishing history ...Or maybe it marks the beginning of a new era. You don't see too many one-day eras.... we hope youâ€™ll agree [this] is Your Good Morning Newspaper ...Here and elsewhere the aversion to hyphens reads oddly. Does this community have a bad morning paper that's even worse than the Free Lance?... we also have changed our publishing days ...Who else has changed the Free Lance's publishing days, and why couldn't the Free Lance stop them?... 7am each Saturday morning ... I'd prefer is to am in this construction, but to each his own.... weâ€™re prepared to pepper our readers with local sports results ...OK, we get the spice pun, but you have to wonder which of the other meanings of to pepper they intend to use on their readers. Will the readers be pelted with these sports results? Or will the sports results be sprinkled freely over the readers? The only other option seems to be that the Free Lance intends to beat its readers with the results. "... a dash of blood, sweat and tears make up what you hold in your hands today. "Wear gloves when handling this paper.readers would welcome a facelift ... So weâ€™ve spiced up the paper ..Ah, yes, the spice that provides a facelift. Wish I had me some of that.Cosmetically, we hope youâ€™ll agree ...Cosmetically, I am amused.If this is how they word the announcement of their spicey new recipe, I can only imagine what the daily copy must be like. I suspect that The Onioin may be facing a serious challenger.[ August 23, 2004: Message edited by: Le Petomane ]

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