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Phillip Blanchard	Post subject: Think roofing, except in writing (A 1-day contest) Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 2:15 am
Joined: Sun Apr 07, 2002 1:01 am Posts: 8342 Location: Bethesda, Md.	COLLEGE PARK, Md. (AP) - Think Edward Scissorhands, but with bolt drivers and pliers for hands and a giraffelike neck topped with a pair of cameras resembling black cratered eyes instead of the handsome head of Johnny Depp. <p>***What a useful device! A Testy Copy Editors® coffee mug goes to the poster who writes the best "better" example of the "think ... but with" lead. Offer expires at midnight Sunday, May 3.***
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Wayne Countryman	Post subject: Re: Think roofing, except in writing (A 1-day contest) Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 4:17 am
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 12:01 am Posts: 1775 Location: Baltimore	DATELINE, Earth (TCE) -- Think powerful desktop computer, but with heating coils instead of cooling fans, a vertical lever for a mouse and a gleaming metal case resembling Flash Gordon's spaceship instead of the handsome face of an LCD flat screen.<p>Move over, Mr. PC -- Mr. Toaster's come to town. He's high-tech and he's hot!
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Bumfketeer	Post subject: Re: Think roofing, except in writing (A 1-day contest) Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 9:51 am
Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 1:01 am Posts: 3557 Location: Cusp of retirement, grave or both	SAN FRANCISCO - Think Grateful Dead, Ken Kesey and Neal Cassady, except instead of a home on Haight Street in the Summer of Love you're in the front row at a 50-Cent concert, a head full of bad acid, a "fresh" Vanilla Ice haircut, eating Scooter Pies and watching your best friend hit on a drag queen decked out like Kelly Ripa.<p>This is virtual reality. It's here, and it's hot.
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Bumfketeer	Post subject: Re: Think roofing, except in writing (A 1-day contest) Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 1:52 pm
Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 1:01 am Posts: 3557 Location: Cusp of retirement, grave or both	<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by blanp: [QB]A pair of cameras resembling black cratered eyes instead of the handsome head of Johnny Depp. <p>[QB]<hr></blockquote><p>***That Johnny Depp has one hell of a handsome head, doesn't he?<p>I haven't had black-cratered eyes since that Dead show at the Fillmore in April 1971.
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Matthew Grieco	Post subject: Re: Think roofing, except in writing (A 1-day contest) Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 1:55 pm
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2003 1:01 am Posts: 2266 Location: New Jersey	NAJAF, Iraq -- Think Iraqi torture chambers, but with U.S. soldiers instead of the Republican Guard, men raping men instead of men raping women, and videos made for worldwide distribution instead of Saddam's private library.<p>It's the latest way America has brought a new life to the Iraqi people.<p>[ May 02, 2004: Message edited by: Matthew Grieco ]</p>
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Bumfketeer	Post subject: Re: Think roofing, except in writing (A 1-day contest) Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 2:31 pm
Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 1:01 am Posts: 3557 Location: Cusp of retirement, grave or both	Will Mr. Ashcroft please report to the Grieco house, stat?
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Phillip Blanchard	Post subject: Re: Think roofing, except in writing (A 1-day contest) Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 11:08 pm
Joined: Sun Apr 07, 2002 1:01 am Posts: 8342 Location: Bethesda, Md.	Countryman wins.
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What They're Saying

"This is like group therapy with prisoners in the Poynter Institute's dungeon." ... "You take a vocation that the simple-minded consider to be mere drudgery, and you exploit every bit of fascinating and humorous nuance imaginable." ... "Delicious" ... "Ask your professors? The only professors whose opinions matter are named Walsh, Blanchard and McIntyre." ... "What I come here for, I can find ONLY here. Phillip, you've built a great place." ... "Nothing gets us hotter than reading bitchy discussion threads from over-exhausted copy editors endlessly debating the merits of "theater" versus "theatre." ... "I love this site. It's better than the Kool-Aid acid tests." ..."I'm awed at the efficiency with which matters of opinion get hashed out in this forum." ... "Phil is the bomb!" ... "I'd wager that it's exactly your sort of hidebound thinking that contributes to the problems newspapers are having attracting readers." ... "I'm totally obsessed with this site. It's like porn--if you get off on Scrabble." ... "It reveals the backstage carping and vindictive emotions that roil the souls of those trapped at the copy desks." "When they say "testy," they certainly mean it. Whether it's reporters, editors, or the general public, no one is above their savage snark." ... "An apparent crack in the thin grey line." ..."Testy Copy Editors is a bitchboard for journalism's underclass." ... "My desire to read 'Testy Copy Editors' is only rivalled by my desire to pop "Constipated Call Girls" in the DVD player." ... "Phillip Blanchard is not just a testy copy editor, but a prophet scorned in his own time, and those of us who defend wordplay will be punished for it come the Judgment Day." ... "Phil Blanchard is as dashing in person as he is at the TCE board." ... "As far as writing and editing go: Read this board, read Bill Walsh, memorize the style book, read William Zinsser, and read the New York Times. That's a good start." ... "You should let go of your bitterness. You were not the oppressed talent you thought yourself to be. You were a miserable, brooding, silent, joyless grind, lucky to have a job at the Sun-Times, and we're lucky now that you've moved on to afflict others."

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