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 Post subject: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 3:41 pm 
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..."Blender" magazine is publishing its list of the 50 worst songs in its May issue. The songs were selected for "crap-tastic melodies," were poorly performed, or just didn't make any sense to the folks at the magazine. ...<p>This may prompt other "covers' of this story at local papers. You can make your own choices here but if "Torn Between Two Lovers" by Maureen McGovern isn't on the list, I think there's something terribly wrong. I believe "Don't Worry, Be Happy," by Bobby McFerrin, "Dancing on the Ceiling" by Lionel Ritchie and "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship are the top three.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 4:31 pm 
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It's a terrible list, as most such lists are. They seemed to pick songs they considered self-indulgent, self-referential, or self-pitying. As if many rock songs can't fit into one of those categories.<p>We a much more sensible list at my former paper, in which we targeted songs that were just plain bad. I believe "Muskrat Love" topped the list.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:09 pm 
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Did I mention "Diamond Girl" by Seals and Croft? One of the most overplayed songs in pop music history, second only to "Lying Eyes" by the Eagles.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:19 pm 
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"Drumming Is My Madness," a 1981 nugget from Ringo Starr that the New York *Times* called moronic, with good reason. It was from his "Stop and Smell the Roses" album.<p>[ April 20, 2004: Message edited by: wordygurdy ]</p>


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:35 pm 
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Outside of the Grateful Dead and possibly a few things by Jefferson Airplane, how about everything recorded since 1966?


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:51 pm 
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Bumf, I didn't know you were 80 years old. Sheesh. I can direct you to some music, notably from the last heyday (late '80s/early '90s), if your condition isn't terminal.<p>For the record, I believe "Torn Between Two Lovers" was a No. 1 hit for Mary MacGregor (not Maureen "Morning After" McGovern).<p>I recently heard "Seasons in the Sun" on the oldies station. Made myself listen to the whole thing. It's hard to top Terry Jacks. Tho it's tough to argue with "We Built This City."


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:55 pm 
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Actually, JJ, I'm 170 in copy editor years.<p>Hey, a few more:<p>"Alone Again, Naturally"...Gilbert O'Sullivan<p>"The Night Chicago Died"...Paper Lace ((i like the highly believable "about a hundred cops are dead" lyric)<p>"Billy, Don't Be a Hero" by someone or other<p>"I Love My Hometown - I Love Cohoes" (featured on our newspaper's "SourceLine")


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:55 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jjmoney62:
Bumf, I didn't know you were 80 years old. Sheesh. I can direct you to some music, notably from the last heyday (late '80s/early '90s), if your condition isn't terminal.<p>For the record, I believe "Torn Between Two Lovers" was a No. 1 hit for Mary MacGregor (not Maureen "Morning After" McGovern).<p>I recently heard "Seasons in the Sun" on the oldies station. Made myself listen to the whole thing. It's hard to top Terry Jacks. Tho it's tough to argue with "We Built This City."<hr></blockquote><p>How about this winner for brainless lyrics:<p>"I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la"


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:58 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bumfketeer:

"Billy, Don't Be a Hero" by someone or other
<hr></blockquote><p>Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:01 pm 
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Ahem.<p>"I've Never Been to Me," as performed by Charlene<p>And I quote:<p>" Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
Where I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'posed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me."<p>Nuff said.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:16 pm 
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Keep it up and I'll have to open a "Top 40" forum.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:18 pm 
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"Afternoon Delight" must be on any list, as should "Disco Duck" and anything by the Backstreet Boys. I think Dave Barry did a whole thing on awful songs a few years ago, so there is no need to rehash the issue in our papers now.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:35 pm 
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We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance - danser
We can go when we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise 'em with the victory cry
Say, we can act if want to
If we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile<p>{Refrain}<p>I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from pole to pole
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance ...


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:48 pm 
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i'd proudly defend "Torn Between Two Lovers," "Alone Again, Naturally" and "Safety Dance."


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:51 pm 
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Location: Heart of Global Warming
<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by larepublica:
..."Disco Duck"...<hr></blockquote> A classic! The epitome of the disco sound. I spent my first year at Columbia U. working in a disco-oriented record shop; "Disco Duck" was one of the few pleasures, as the customers never grasped that it was mocking the genre.<p>But few things can match "Hey, Paula", a painfully whiny duet by Paul and Paula (a rechristened Ray Hildebrand and Jill Jackson) that aired in 1963. I can still hear it in my nightmares...<p>D.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 6:56 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by SeaRaven:
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind...
<hr></blockquote> Hey, it's got a good beat and it's easy to dance to.<p>Few lyrics can beat "Incense and Peppermints" by the Strawberry Alarm Clock:<p>'Good sense, innocence, cripplin' and kind.
Dead kings, many things I can't define.
Oh Cajun spice, sweats and blushers your mind.
Incense and peppermints, the color of thyme.<p>Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win, but nothing to lose.<p>Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns.
Turn on, tune in, turn your eyes around.
Look at yourself, look at yourself,
Yeah, yeah.
Look at yourself, look at yourself,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah.<p>Tune-a by the cockeyed world in two.
Throw your pride to one side, It's the least you can do.
Beatniks and politics, nothing is new.
A yardstick for lunatics, one point of view.<p>[verses omitted in the spirit of sanity]<p>Incense, peppermints, incense, peppermints.<p>Sha-la-la, sha-la-la.....'<p>D.<p>[ April 20, 2004: Message edited by: DominEditrix ]</p>


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 7:06 pm 
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In a former shop a co-worker and I played an evil game of tag: Send the title of an insipid song via office e-mail to the other. The only effective way to get the tune out of your head was to reply with an even catchier one.<p>Some of y'all show a great talent for this.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 7:09 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by SeaRaven:
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance - danser
We can go when we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise 'em with the victory cry
Say, we can act if want to
If we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile<p>{Refrain}<p>I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from pole to pole
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance ...
<hr></blockquote><p>Don't ever do this again.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 7:10 pm 
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Thanks for the Incense and Peppermints lyrics. I never understood them back then. Must've been something I ate.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 7:24 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by DominEditrix:
Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns.<hr></blockquote><p>This at least scores this song some points for honesty to keep it ahead of the competition.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 8:25 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Matthew Grieco:
..... I believe "Muskrat Love" topped the list.<hr></blockquote><p>It certainly tops my list. I'm outraged that "Sounds of Silence" was determined one of the 50 worst.
And as a dancer, I too must defend "Safety Dance." <p>And I'm surprised no one's mentioned the cringe-inducing "You Light Up My Life."


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 8:53 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bumfketeer:
Thanks for the Incense and Peppermints lyrics. I never understood them back then. Must've been something I ate.<hr></blockquote>As I recall, it usually took something one ate to understand them.<p>My other favourite from that era was The Ultimate Spinach song "Ballad of the Hip Death Goddess":<p>'See the glazed eyes
Touch the dead skin
Feel the cold lips
And know the warmth
Of the Hip Death Goddess...<p>I am the Hip Death goddess of your dreams
Life isn't all that it seems...'<p>D.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:09 pm 
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tonight, coincidentally, was Barry Manilow night on "American Idol." <p>30 years ago it was the first album i owned.<p>i've never disowned that music. poor kids tonight. only 1 or 2 succeeded. the old freak isn't so easily dismissed.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:14 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jjmoney62:
tonight, coincidentally, was Barry Manilow night on "American Idol." <p><hr></blockquote><p>What have I told you about watching television?


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:19 pm 
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Muskrat Love is the first bad song I thought of... But "You're Having My Baby" has got to be right up here... although I love Paul Anka. Was that Paul Anka?


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 10:33 pm 
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"Shannon," by Henry Gross. Simply awful. He should have stayed with Sha Na Na.<p>That's how fucking bad that song is.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 10:34 pm 
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Lists such as this remind me of polls: They state "These are the worst" (or the best, or whatever) based on a sampling. I don't know how many songs Blender considered, but it's a safe bet that it wasn't every song in history, which would be required for naming the worst or best.<p>Moral: Avoid absolutes.<p>Having said that, does anyone remember "D.O.A." by Bloodrock? Or anything by Grand Funk Railroad?


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 11:36 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by DominEditrix:
But few things can match "Hey, Paula", a painfully whiny duet by Paul and Paula (a rechristened Ray Hildebrand and Jill Jackson) that aired in 1963. I can still hear it in my nightmares...<hr></blockquote><p>But Editrix, didn't you enjoy the scene in "Animal House" when stoned couple Boon (Peter Riegert) and Katy (Karen Allen) sing it to each other while sitting in the bathtub?<p>For those of us who don't remember 1963, that movie was the first time we heard that song. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 11:46 pm 
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Image<p>This is quite a fabulous read.<p>My list of oldies/newbies but baddies would be too immense to type here, but all the ones mentioned thus far would likely be included - yep, even Lionel Richie's "Dancing On the Ceiling." (shudders)<p>To errantly paraphrase Elton John (sorta), "Bad songs say so much."


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 12:05 am 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Oeditpus Rex:
...... does anyone remember "D.O.A." by Bloodrock? Or anything by Grand Funk Railroad?<hr></blockquote><p>Not only do I remember "D.O.A.," I have Grand Funk's "Locomotion" on a 45.
Actually, I might have "D.O.A." on a 45, come to think of it.<p>[ April 21, 2004: Message edited by: Jackie ]</p>


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 2:19 am 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gary Kirchherr:
For those of us who don't remember 1963, that movie was the first time we heard that song. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.<hr></blockquote>I'll bet Karen Allen has a more euphonious singing voice than did Jill Jackson/Paula. The song spent 15 tedious weeks on the charts. I never did figure out its appeal.<p>D.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 2:43 am 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Jackie:
<p>Not only do I remember "D.O.A.," I have Grand Funk's "Locomotion" on a 45.
Actually, I might have "D.O.A." on a 45, come to think of it.<p>
<hr></blockquote><p>Listen and weep.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:01 am 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by blanp:

Listen and weep.
<hr></blockquote><p>Arrgh! Warning: Do not click that link. WTF? I'd never heard that thing before, and I never want to hear it again.<p>That's it. I'm going back to the ACES board to read more about the glottal stop.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:43 am 
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Wasn't Little Eva's follow-up song called "The Glottal Stomp"?


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 12:14 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by blanp:
<p>Listen and weep.<hr></blockquote>And all of a sudden I'm 16 again, lying on my bed listening to "Bloodrock II" with the Fantastic Plastic Light Machine going.<p>Blanp, I dunno whether to thank you or rip out your spleen.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:01 pm 
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..does anyone remember "D.O.A." ..<p>Was that the song that came out on a 45 rpm disc... with the flip side that played the song backwards...? (I'm not kidding!)<p>[ April 21, 2004: Message edited by: Jim DeLa ]</p>


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:11 pm 
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Well, now we know what TCEs are interested in outside of punctuation. Thank you for uplifting Maureen McGovern's good name by saying she didn't sing the song I credited her with. And now, for the song no one mentioned, but which desparately needs to be obliterated from the planet...<p>It's a small world after all,
It's a small world after all,
It's a small world after all,
ad nauseum


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:38 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by blanp:
<p>Listen and weep.<hr></blockquote><p>Wow. Thanks, blanp. I'd never heard that song before, and it's unlikely I'll play it again. I think it freaked out one of my parrots, too, who was mesmerized by the sound of sirens coming out of the computer's speakers.<p>[ April 21, 2004: Message edited by: wordygurdy ]</p>


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:31 pm 
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I can't believe no one's mentioned "Inna Gadda da Vida" .... oh for that drum solo. We recently taunted a colleague here who was of the right age, but claimed to have never heard of it. I must admit it was one of my first LPs.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:38 pm 
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Fair warning: I think we're close to exhausting this topic.


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:50 pm 
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="TImes, TimesNR, serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by blanp:
<p>Listen and weep.<hr></blockquote><p>LOL! For God's sakes, I was in junior high school! Give me a break!!


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 Post subject: Re: Your choice, your song
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:58 pm 
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JJ:<p>But In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida was "heavy!"


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